What is your deepest fear?

Greetings dear cosmic kin!

Buckle up for the wild ride that is the Roots & Resonance newsletter launch!  This isn’t your grandma’s family update – oh no, we’re diving deep into the tangled roots of Family Constellation work and personal growth with a sprinkle of flair and fun. Expect a monthly

dose of interesting research, soul-stirring insights, and maybe a dash of ancestral mischief to keep you growing  toward your best self.  Let’s unearth the magic together.  Let the resonance begin!

I’ve recently done a deep dive into my deepest fear and thought to share this with you.

When we ask, "What is my deepest fear?" the first answers might be surface-level—fear of meeting new people, spiders, or harm. But if we dig deeper, we often find something more profound. 

For example: 

“I fear meeting new people”

 "Why fear meeting new people?"→ "They might not like me."

- "And if they don’t?"→ "I won’t make friends."

- "Then what?"→ "I’ll be alone."

The real fear isn’t socializing—it’s ‘being alone’. 

My own Journey with Fear 

I’ve lived saturated in fear  — fear of failure, loneliness, poverty, authority — letting it control my decisions and life without realizing it. Our subconscious often dictates how we act, what we say and what decisions we make. Unravelling it like tangled threads, I discovered two key things: 

1. Not all fears were mine —some came from family trauma, migration, or war (like WWII or conflicts in the Middle East/South Africa). Through Family Constellation work, I released what wasn’t mine. 

2. My core fear was lack of safety—rooted in childhood abuse, which shattered trust. I lived waiting for the next disaster, all the time, subconsciously attracting chaos (like marrying an alcoholic, knowing the risks). 

These fears can become so ingrained that they start forming destructive patterns we live by eg. having friend after friend who bullies you, getting married and divorcing, time and time again or starting a business, building it up and then losing it all again. All these patterns can also be broken.

Breaking Free 

Facing this truth was painful but liberating. With guidance from another Family Constellation Therapist and friend, I’ve reclaimed my life — feeling more peace, joy, and freedom daily.  This has even had a physical impact, as we also carry the fear in our cells.

These fears can become so deeply rooted that they create self-destructive cycles — like repeatedly attracting toxic friends, enduring failed marriages, or building businesses only to lose them. But these patterns CAN be broken.

Questions to Explore Your Fears 

If you’d like to dig deeper, I’ve included a downloadable PDF with probing questions to guide you. 

______________________

Wishing you warmth and growth rooted in resonance!

P.s. “Resonance” – a deeply human, biological experience where our emotional frequencies align, creating a sense of mutual connection and safety.