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“How silly of you to ask!  It was like how many years ago, and what does it matter anyway?”

The truth is, however, for all of us it is the most important day of your life - as it is the day that you came into this world.  The only similar day will be the day you leave this world.

More and more research are being done on how soon after conception are you a little being who takes note of its surroundings and knows what is going on.

When do you start to feel things, hear things, sense things. The latest research suggests much earlier than ever realised before.

What researchers are finding though, and I also deal with it on a regular basis with my Family Constellation work, is that the manner of birth and the time right after birth has a profound and lasting impact on a person’s life.

So, maybe you don’t know how your birth went, maybe you’ve never discussed it with your mother or she has already passed and it is impossible to know for certain, but with Constellation we can go back and deal with the impact and the energy surrounding your birth.

Research has been done on children of mother’s who were pregnant during 9/11 and in the vicinity of New York during the attacks on the World Trade Centres. These babies were found to have higher levels of cortisol.  Similar research has been done with other children whose mothers were pregnant during wartime.   These increased levels of cortisol make these babies more prone to depression, anxiety, overeating and other stress-related conditions.

I am not going to go into all the actual research here, but if you would like to find out more, I will add a few references below.

There are a few questions I like to ask and maybe you can relate:

1)      Do you sometimes feel invisible?

It has been found that babies whose mothers weren’t aware of the pregnancy from the beginning and maybe only realised they were pregnant at say 3 or 4 months, often feel as if they aren’t seen, not being noticed or acknowledged. This feeling or pattern can continue all throughout life with friends, family, work relationships and even partners.

2)      Do you have trouble making your voice heard or speaking what is on your mind?  Babies who haven been on ventilators often find it difficult to speak and make themselves heard because even their crying could not be heard with the tubes going down their throats.

3)      Do you have an unexplainable fear of hospitals?  

Where mother and child were under severe threat of dying during labour in hospital, could cause a life-long fear of hospitals.

4)      Have you struggled to bond or to trust your mother without ever knowing why? 

If you were separated from your mother right after birth (as is the case in premature babies) or even within the first two years of your life, you might have trouble trusting your mother’s love and have abandonment issues.

5)      Are you finding that people undermine your decisions? 

Were you born by means of a caesarean?  The most important decision, and first decision of your life as a human being, is to decide what day to be born and when to come into this world. Babies who were born via caesarean had no choice, a doctor who chose the date and time according to his schedule decided that for you.

6)      Are you struggling with interpersonal relationships? 

Were you a planned pregnancy? 

7)      Always have this feeling of dread hanging over you or struggling with fears and anxieties? 

What was your mother going through when she was pregnant with you.

8)      Struggling with identity / gender issues?

Did your parents actually want a child of the opposite sex to you?  They have found that most parents, whether consciously or not, because of our male dominated world, prefers and even secretly wishes for a son.

9)      Do you struggle to bond with people close to you, even wife or husband?

They are still researching the effects of introducing oxytocin (our love hormone) to induce labour and what the effect of that has on both mother and child.


What all this is showing is that so much of what you might be dealing with in your life could be coming from your very start in life.  Even your grandmother’s trauma could be carried over to you. 


Research has also shown that women tend to give birth to their children in a similar fashion as to how they themselves were birthed or even how their grandmothers birthed their mothers.


This might all sound very depressing and leave you feeling despondent, because what’s done is done, isn’t it?


No! The wonderful thing about all this is that we can do something about it!


Sometimes even just having the knowledge of what happened and how it relates to your life today, could be life-changing.  With Family Constellation we can release the negative emotions and energy that came with the event surrounding your birth as well as any trauma you experienced and by clearing the energy, we can change the effect on your life and even on the lives of future generations. 


If you are currently pregnant, then this is the ideal time to explore and heal in this area.


Should you wish to explore this with me, please feel free to book a session or contact me via e-mail.


References :

It Didn’t Start with you – Mark Wolynn

Why am I sick? – Richard Flook

In Utero – Sandra Ramos & Jorge A Ramos

TEDx Talk From Womb to World by Anna Verwaal






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